


Tired Of Fighting This

by twisting_vine_x



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Developing Relationship, Eren is seventeen, Eren!POV, Feelings, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Manga, Sharing Body Heat, brief violence towards an animal (one sentence), canon-verse, cuddling for warmth, manga-verse, mild violence, reciprocated feelings, sap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-27 00:15:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1707842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twisting_vine_x/pseuds/twisting_vine_x
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A/N: Loosely set during volume thirteen, so. Warning for a few vague-ish manga spoilers. (i.e. three other characters mentioned by name, the location, and the general overall plot parameters.)</p><p>Summary: Based on this message I sent to a friend the other night: “OH SHUCKS DID LEVI FALL INTO A LAKE AND GET SOAKED WHILE THEY'RE STUCK FAR FROM BASE AND IT'S COLD OUTSIDE OH DEAR WHAT'S A CORPORAL TO DO.” Yes, this is Eren and Levi snuggling for warmth. I regret nothing. (Also, a bunch of actual plot snuck in here, too. Whoops. :D)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tired Of Fighting This

A single bullet through the head takes out their horse, sending Levi over the cliff edge, and Eren down on his knees into the dirt. Eren doesn’t realize he’s jumped over the edge, too, until he’s already crashing into the water, coming back up with a gasp as the chill shoots straight through him.

“Captain!”

The jump down was far, but there are yells coming from the trees, and he’s going to feel bullets in his back soon – but Eren can’t care. Somewhere, Levi’s in the water. Eren sucks in a breath and goes under, but it’s too dark. He can’t see anything. Comes up crying – jerks when bullets spray the water, too close, and goes under again. Nearly sucks in a breath when his fingers meet fabric – and then Levi’s hand is in his, and Eren’s being yanked even further down. Down and sideways, and he doesn’t struggle. Let’s Levi tug him, until his vision is going white, and he’s aching to pull away, to find _air_ – comes back up, gasping and retching, with Levi’s hand still in his and a second hand across his mouth. He doesn’t have enough air in his lungs, yet, though, chest pulling tight, and Levi lets him go when Eren shakes his head, frantic. Sucks in air as quietly as he can as he kicks hard to stay above the water, holding on even tighter to Levi’s hand.

“Come on-n.”

Levi sounds as shaky as Eren feels, and Eren focuses on his voice as Levi starts swimming again, tugging Eren along until Eren remembers to swim for himself. Gets his hand back and shakes and shivers and tries to not swallow any more water as Levi strikes out across the lake, Eren doing his best to keep up. He can still hear voices behind them, and staying where they are will get them killed.

He’s not sure he can make it to the other side of the lake, though. His legs are already tired.

“F-faster, kid. Unless you w-want a b-bullet in your s-skull.”

Eren can’t speak, and he knows Levi can barely see him, so he doesn’t bother with nodding. Stays as close to Levi as he can. They’re in deep water, and it’s _freezing_ , and it’s dangerously dark. There’s barely any moon. He can’t lose Levi out here. Doesn’t know how he’d find him again. Clings to the sound of Levi beside him, until there’s nothing but the burn in his legs and arms, and the feel of his teeth slamming together. Wants to stop and take off his cloak and boots, but doesn’t know if he’ll be able to stay above. Nearly cries when his feet hit ground. Levi grunts beside him, a bit more visible now that that Eren’s eyes have adjusted. Tugs on his sleeve until they’ve crawled out of the water. Eren ends up on his hands and knees, panting, and Levi’s got a hand on his shoulder, his breathing a wretched, panting sound. Eren blinks back tears and tries to breathe.

“Add t-that to the l-list of things I’m n-never doing a-again.”

It’s hoarse and shaky, like Levi doesn’t have enough air, and Eren swallows and leans against him in the dark. Feels Levi lean back, sinking down beside Eren into even more of a slump, and – Eren is absolutely freezing. Everything is pasted to him. He wants out of these clothes, but – they don’t have supplies. They don’t have a horse, they can’t make a fire, and they have no dry clothing.

“Come on-n, kid. We’ve got t-to move.”

“What a-are we going t-to –”

“Trust m-me.”

And that, Eren can do. Has been doing for months, now. Can do that until the day he dies. Let’s Levi tug him upright and pull him away from the water, and follows him into the trees on legs that shake. Levi doesn’t go far – they’re still in view of the lake, even – before he stops, and puts a hand on Eren’s chest. Eren can hardly see him anymore, underneath the darkness of the trees.

“We can h-hide here, but if-f they come with d-dogs, we need to be n-near the water.”

Eren nods, too tired to do anything else. Can just see Levi stripping off his cloak, and does the same, before removing his boots with fingers that shake – and then Levi’s taking his hand, and Eren lets himself be tugged. Only figures out where things are going when he realizes that Levi’s lying down and expecting Eren to join him, and – Eren’s stomach flips over and starts to ache. He can’t breathe. Let’s Levi tug him down onto his soaking cloak until he’s got his arms around Levi, and Levi’s pressed up against him, _safe_ ; and Eren swallows around the sharp burn in his eyes.

“T-tell anyone I-I was the little s-spoon and I’ll k-kill you.”

Eren can’t speak, suddenly. Doesn’t have any air. Shoves his face into Levi’s neck and holds on tight. Feels Levi tense, but he can’t make himself pull back. Levi’s alive. That’s all that matters.

“Alright b-back there?”

It’s probably not nearly as biting as Levi was going for. Eren swallows and holds him a bit tighter. He’s going to give himself away, at this rate, but he suddenly doesn’t really give a fuck.

“When y-you – were over the cliff. I t-thought – I-I thought that y–you –”

“Not t-that easy to k-kill.”

He’s not, but it only helps so much. Eren realizes he’s rubbing his fingers against Levi’s arm, through his soaked shirt, and makes himself stop. Concentrates on the feeling of Levi’s back against his chest. Tries to ignore the sharp rocks poking up through Levi’s cloak. Realizes, lying there, that Levi’s shaking just as hard as he was when this started, his teeth knocking together, and – Eren’s still cold, but doing better. Maybe there is something to be said for his regenerative powers.

“We n-need to get y-you warmer.”

“Lucky titan s-shit.”

“At l-least it’s not w-winter.”

“If it was w-winter, we wouldn’t be o-out here in the f-first place.”

Levi sounds like he’s about ready to start throwing punches – sounds exhausted and angry and hurting and cold – and Eren only thinks about it for a second before he decides that getting Levi warm is the thing that matters most. He’s not going to lose Levi to something like pneumonia – not after all they’ve survived together. Tightens his grip and pulls him in even closer against his chest, and throws a leg over top of Levi’s to yank his legs in. Feels the way Levi twitches in his arms.

“Tuck y-your f-feet between my shins.”

Levi barely seems to be breathing, and Eren deliberately does his best to not panic. Feels around in the dark until he finds Levi’s hands. Wraps his own hands around Levi’s frozen fingers, and holds on tight. Tries to ignore the way his wiggling has pushed his crotch right up against Levi’s ass. They’re touching almost everywhere it’s possible for them to, now – and then Levi’s feet slide up his legs to tangle between his shins, and Eren presses his face back into his neck. Does his best to breathe. Wants to rub his hands along Levi’s freezing arms, but doubts that would be welcome.

“You’re s-something else, k-kid.”

“I’m n-not a kid.”

It’s probably not the smartest thing to say, and he bites his lip and decides that he’s not allowed to talk anymore. Feels his stomach clench tighter when Levi sighs, but doesn’t say anything. Just lies there and shakes in Eren’s arms, and Eren realizes he’s rubbing his thumbs against Levi’s fingers, and – makes himself stop, and closes his eyes. He’s still cold, but Levi’s still shaking.

“I can s-shift. Take us h-home.”

“I d-don’t have my gear. If you were t-to –”

“I _won’t_. I can control – you won’t have to k-kill –”

“I wouldn’t _kill_ you. Fuck. We’ve a-already been o-over –”

He cuts himself off on a shudder as the wind picks up, screaming through Eren’s wet clothes, and – it’s got to be worse for Levi. Tightens his grip and tries to use his own body to block as much of Levi as he can. Thinks, briefly, about pulling his cloak down on top of them – but it’s soaked. Would probably only make things worse. Realizes he’s rubbing his hands along Levi’s arms – and Levi’s letting him. Tucking himself close and letting Eren try to warm him. Eren’s chest hurts.

“ _Fuck_. Tell me what to do, Captain.”

“You’re a-already doing it.”

“Let me t-take us home.”

“No.”

“There’s got to be s-something –”

“You’re g-going to keep those t-titan arms around me until morning, alright? That’s what I need you to do. By then, our squad will be s-searching for us. We’ll find the r-road, and t-they’ll find us.”

“And if t-they don’t? If –”

“You’re a l-last resort. A _very_ last r-resort.”

“But –”

“I w-will _not_ risk losing you to your t-titan side. My job is t-to protect you. Now s-shut up.”

Even through his shaking and shivering and chattering teeth, Levi sounds ready to take a swing at him; and Eren closes his eyes and presses his face harder into Levi’s neck. Cringes when the wind whips up again, and starts rubbing his hands up and down Levi’s arms again. Keeps it up when Levi doesn’t stop him. If he can’t get them home, he can at least do this. Isn’t sure how much time passes, but Levi never stops his awful shivering, despite the way Eren’s curled up around him; and he has an idea. Levi’s back, perhaps, is better suited to be exposed than his front.

“Could you – turn around, maybe? Would t-that help?”

Levi’s lack of response says more about his misery than any words could, and when he turns in his arms, Eren tightens his around him and pulls him in as close as he can. Ends up with Levi’s face pressed right into his neck. Wraps his arms around him and throws a leg over top of him, and – all those nights he lied awake, desperate to be close to Levi – but not like this. Not when Levi’s mouth is ice against his neck, and the wind is cutting against Eren’s back, and there are people nearby who want to kill them, and – Levi’s arms are wrapped around himself, within the circle of Eren’s arms, and he feels fragile, suddenly. He’s _not_ – Eren knows better than anyone the kind of punch that Levi packs – but he feels breakable; and Eren closes his eyes and tightens his grip. It can’t be more than a few hours until sunrise, and if all he can do is hold Levi and rub his hands along his back and his arms and do his best to keep him warm, then he’s damn well going to do exactly that.

\- - -

Eren and Levi more or less crawl out of the forest not long after the sun comes up.

Their clothes are still damp, and Eren is all too aware of the fact that they’re probably still being hunted – and they end up crouched behind a bush by the road, huddled together in the tiny bit of shelter. They’re both covered in dirt and twigs, and Levi looks so miserable and pissed off it hurts to watch; and Eren’s quite possibly never been happier to hear the sound of Hanje’s booming voice, as the squad comes galloping around the corner. Can feel the tension seep out of Levi, where he’s pressed up close – and then Levi’s tugging on his arm, and Eren lets himself be tugged, until they’re both standing on the road and Hanje’s grinning so wide it looks like it hurts.

\- - -

Eren’s never been so glad to see their cottage.

Pours the hottest bath he can handle once Mikasa and Armin stop worrying over him long enough to give him some space. Sinks into the water and scrubs himself clean. Stays in the tub until the water’s going cool again, and then climbs out and towels himself dry. Tries to not think about the way Levi had shivered against him all night, wrapped up in his arms. It’s probably the closest Eren will ever get, and he’d have rather never seen Levi hurt like that. Realizes that he’s standing there half-dressed with his mind wandering, and swallows hard as he climbs into the warmest clothes he has, and finds his feet taking him in the direction of Levi’s room. Hesitates, for a moment, before knocking – and when Levi opens the door in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, Eren’s pretty sure all the blood in his body shoots to both his face and his dick.

“I thought you were Hanje.”

And Eren – is definitely not going to think about the implications of that. Swallows through the bolt of pain and shrugs, feeling suddenly helpless – and Levi stares at him before he steps aside, and Eren doesn’t know what to look at. Can feel his face flushing painfully hot. Enters the room on legs that shake – jumps when Levi shuts the door with a click. Focuses on the floor as Levi moves around him, but – the silence is too much, and Eren looks up. Loses his breath at the horrible black and yellow bruise that covers Levi’s shoulder. Only realizes he’s moved when Levi goes still; and Eren snatches his fingers back from where they’d been pressed against Levi’s back.

“Sorry, I’m _so_ – I didn’t mean –”

There are fingers around his wrist, and Eren’s lungs are starting to hurt. His knees are shaking. Levi’s not looking at him. Holding his wrist and – not doing anything else. Not looking at him, not saying anything, his shoulders hunched in a bit; and Eren swallows a whimper, his heart slamming in his chest. Wavers, the uncertainty one of the most horrible things he’s ever felt, ever – but Levi’s not pushing him away, and this is impossible, but it’s happening, and – Eren twists his hand until his fingers are tangled with Levi’s. Watches as Levi closes his eyes, his expression going tight, and – Eren feels frozen. Can’t move. Realizes he’s clinging to Levi’s fingers like a lifeline.

“This is a horrible idea.”

“Then w-why –”

“Because you’re not subtle and I’m tired of fighting this.”

Eren swallows another whimper. Closes his eyes. This is real. Only opens his eyes when Levi lets go of his hand – and it’s worse than being punched, but Levi’s still close, looking up at him. Presses a hand against Eren’s elbow and Eren’s surprised his knees don’t go out from underneath him.

“I promised Hanje I’d let them look me over. Come back in a couple of hours. We should talk.”

Eren only realizes he’s gaping like an idiot when Levi’s lips twist into something that might possibly be amusement – and then Eren swallows and nods, though it feels a little frantic. Can’t move his feet until Levi tilts his head towards the door; and Eren stumbles a bit as he turns to leave. Is pretty sure he can feel Levi’s eyes boring into his back until the door closes, and – he needs to be somewhere else by the time Hanje shows up. Forces his legs into movement, and makes it down the hall and around a couple of corners before he stops and presses his face against the cold wall, his heart slamming and his breath coming too quickly and his legs shaking.

\- - -

By the time Eren ends up back in Levi’s room, his knees still aren’t quite steady. Levi’s dressed, again – simple white top and white pants, and with his hair still damp on his head – and when he steps aside to let Eren in, and then locks the door behind them, it’s a miracle that Eren stays upright. Jumps when a hand rests against his back – and closes his eyes when Levi presses up against him, his forehead resting between Eren’s shoulders and a hand sliding around to Eren’s stomach.

“If we’re doing this, I need to hear a few things from you.”

Eren barely manages to nod. He’s going to pass out.

“As the guy who holds your life in his hands, I need to know that you are doing this because you want to, and not because you feel – in any way – that you are being coerced or forced into doing so.”

Eren somehow forces out another nod. Still can’t speak. Closes his eyes when Levi presses his forehead a bit harder against his back, his face resting right in between Eren’s shoulder blades.

“Words, Eren.”

“I w-want you.”

“Good.”

It’s barely a sigh, and then Levi’s slowly turning him around. Eren barely manages to meet his eyes as Levi looks up at him – and then Levi puts a hand on his cheek, his expression softer, maybe, then Eren has ever seen it; and Eren closes his eyes. Keeps them closed as Levi’s thumb traces along the top of his mouth, before he pulls away, though he’s still got one hand on Eren’s hip.

“Come on, then, you little menace. I’m fucking exhausted.”

Eren opens his eyes to find Levi pulling back the blankets on his bed and sliding underneath – and he wavers, for a second, until Levi raises his eyebrows and very deliberately tugs down the blankets and leaves more than enough space for Eren to crawl in; and Eren’s heart hurts. His throat has gone all itchy, and his eyes are burning, and – he nearly stumbles over his feet in his haste to lie down, his limbs all aching and his stomach flipping and – Levi wraps his arms around him and yanks him close, and Eren stops breathing. Doesn’t start again until Levi sighs against his ear and yanks the blanket up around them, tucking them into a wonderful cocoon of warmth.

“Relax, Eren. At least this time we’re not freezing.”

“And y-you’re not the l-little spoon.”

He’s not sure how he even gets his voice to work, and the last thing he could have ever expected would be Levi’s lips turning up against the side of his neck – and then Levi tightens his grip, pulls Eren in even closer; and Eren never wants to move again. Might not be sure, exactly, of where they’re heading with this – but, right now, he’s warm and he’s safe and he’s got Levi’s arms around him, and they both made it back alive, and Levi’s heart is slamming against his back and his arms are tight around him; and Eren’s pretty sure he’s never felt so cared for in his entire life.

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone fancies being tumblr buddies, I'm always happy to make new SNK friends. ♥ (http://twisting-vine-x.tumblr.com/) (Note that my blog will have spoilers for the manga, so if anyone wishes to be friends but avoid those, the tag to blacklist is 'aot manga spoilers').


End file.
